To the Stars, the Moon Pleaded, “Stay.”

 

Falling in love with your best friend sucked.

It was a dance. A tango. It goes forward, it goes backward, a dip, an almost kiss- and then you part.

The dance is over, and you think, maybe you shouldn’t have told her. Maybe this was some cruel twist of fate because the world hates you. Everyone leaves you anyway.

Your family left you. They died, no, killed by your own brother. That same brother that told you next time. It was always next time.

That next time never came. The next time you saw him, he… your brother… your brother left you. He left you alive. He told you to live. To fight. To find him. To kill him. You couldn’t understand you were so young.

She tried to be there for you. You remember it like it was just yesterday. After that fateful night at the academy, she stared at you with those big, moon-like eyes. The bell-like cadence of her voice ringing to your ears, but you couldn’t understand what she said. You stared at her the way the infinite space would the dark side of the moon. The distance grows until the light can’t reach you.

You turned away. Tuned her out and left. What did she know anyway? You think she cried. Why would she cry? Her family is alive. She has no older brother. She is the Hyuuga princess. Why would she cry? You didn’t care to know the answer.

The bell-like cadence of her voice is still ringing in your ears, but you have no idea what she was saying. You never did.

She was your best friend. You always saw her as such. Even when you fucked up. Even when you pushed her away. Even when you won’t talk to her. She was- is your best friend.

Years later, you are twelve, and she is sitting on the second row alone- on the academy classroom that you had been going to since that night all those years ago. Looking out the window. She sighed. She didn’t even notice you entered the room.

She’s still cute, you thought.

It wasn’t something that crossed your mind much, but seeing her now in this small moment of peace- where you are not out to avenge your clan, where you are not so angry, where you are just a twelve-year-old boy wondering what could have been- it was a simple thought that crossed your mind.

Maybe if you spoke to her all those years ago when you thought she cried, maybe she would talk to you like she did before your family left you. She’d still talk to you about the flowers she picked along the way from the academy to her house. She’d tell you about the jutsu that she learned from her father, or she tells you how weak she is because she doesn’t want to hurt her cousin in their sparring matches. Maybe if you weren’t so bent on your revenge, you would still openly call her your best friend.

She was the moon in the darkness of your night. The one that lit your world up softly. Never scalding. Just a soft caress of light against the bleakness of your life.

You remember the way she smiled at you while you smiled back. Carefree. You told her about your brother and how you’re going to be just like him. He’s amazing, you said. She nodded enthusiastically. She said she’s supporting you, and you’ll be the ninja duo everyone will need to watch out for. You laughed and told her that’s a promise. She hugged you, and you pushed her away while telling her she had cooties. She cried, but you told her you didn’t mean it. That you didn’t feel any different. That the boys in the playground were liars to have told you that. You hugged her then. She stopped crying.

“R-really?” She asked. “Yeah,” you replied. “I don’t think cooties are real anyway.” She laughed. You liked her laugh.

But that’s not who you are. You are still angry. You are still hurting. You are not just a twelve-year-old boy thinking of what could have been. You are a twelve-year-old boy wrung too tightly; all emotion left you, plotting about what will be. Thoughts are never simple.

You tightened your hold on your bag and sat across from her. Trying to make the moment last. Trying in vain to make all the bad thoughts go away. You wanted the simple thoughts, but you know you can never have that. She finally notices you.

“Ah!” she said. Startled that you sat so close to her. It has been years, you remind yourself. “Good morning, Uchiha.” softly, like bells in a lazy summer afternoon. She blushed. “We’ll be in teams starting today… are you-”

“IDIOT!!!”

She paused what she was saying. She stopped looking at you. Her eyes twinkled- like the stars on a clear summer night hoping to catch a glimpse of the sun. While the moon watched on, hoping the stars would look at it too.

It was at that moment, you realized she was never the moon at all. She was the stars giving life to the dark sky. She shined no matter how dark it would get. You… You were the moon that helplessly watched as the sun brought about a new day. A new day where she would not be seen yet, she reveled in the warmth of the sun. You wanted to keep her in your darkness where she can shine as much as she wanted. But as much as you wanted to, she’ll never shine with you. The distance was too great, and all you wanted was to scream at her to look at you.

But that’s just not who you are.

Falling in love with your best friend sucked.

The bell-like cadence of her voice was still ringing in your ear.

This time, you understand what she says.

Just like how the dark side of the moon stares longingly at the never-ending darkness of space, you found the stars.

You begged with all your heart. You begged the stars to stay.

End.

A fanfic I wrote in 2020 for SasuHina Month 2020 on Tumblr.