Living Big, Bold, and Beautiful

Dear Eir, twenty years from now, I don’t know if I should be writing to you like a friend. It seems like you’re that person I used to know really well, but I ended up losing you as time passed. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it’s because I never really saw you as a friend in the first place. You would know these feelings to be familiar. You went through them. You know that I never really liked who you were. I tried so hard to like you, but I could never fully love you the way you deserve to be loved. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t capable of it or if I was afraid. I think I was afraid that I could still lose you even if I loved you. I’ve always believed that love does not solve anything, and that thought scares me to no end. I think this is one of the hardest things I had to do in my short, twenty-four years of existence. I found this so hard to write was because I never projected this far into the future. I always tell people that I feel like you won’t make it past thirty because y...

The Covid pandemic made us do a lot of things differently. From the way we work to our daily activities, it has affected us in more ways than we ever imagined. As a person who enjoyed staying in, it did not feel like there was much of a difference. At least, that is what I told myself. As each day passed, I thought,  this isn’t so bad . Until a week turned into a month, and the month turned into three, and staying indoors with only my family to talk to really ate away at my mental health. Full disclosure, I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2, and I am not ashamed of it. Having a mental illness in the time of pandemic was a real challenge for me. I only had myself, and being alone for a prolonged period really made me think and reflect on my life. My therapist told me that the cause of my problem is low self-esteem. People who know me would raise their eyebrows. “Eir? Low self-esteem? She’s like one of the most confident people I know!” "She's l...